New format, same problems.

Actually it hasn't been all that bad. I've just been under a really dark cloud for a few months. I attribute this to the funerals I've been too but I don't think that's it anymore. I feel like I'm just tired to hitting my head on the glass ceiling. It's just...really difficult for me to want or even try to do that anymore.
The first thought, is why the hell would you do that in the first place?! Maybe being broke for so long has gotten to me but fuck that. No reason to put up with the sheer amount of BS I have to for no good reasons. Also saw on facebook a guy I threatened several years ago. He's apparently a friend of a friend. It was over my ex-wife. The reasons I don't think I'll ever know and after talking to her more I can say that I still love her but don't know if it's been enough time for all those wounds to heal. There were a lot of them. And in case you were wondering, the offer still stands.

Another month, another wake.

The streak is still going strong. This past March my Uncle Eugene (Hong) passed away. Not more than 2 weeks ago. It was a rough one. As the service was in my old church-I haven't been there in a long time. It feels like at least 2 years or so but it's probably longer than that. It should be noted that I don't have a problem with God. Far from it. We get along great-except for that whole mega millions numbers thing. Haha. It was the pastor at the old time strong-arming senior citizens to vote. It was redorkulous, Balky. That's why I stopped going. Whoever that guy was/is is not the pastor anymore. Still weird seeing some of those people. They all got old and short. 

This past week, an old friend of my dad, James Leong passed away. (and when I mean old friend, like old village in China kind of old friend) He wasn't doing well (on life support). I didn't know him that well and always found it super weird that he sounded different in person than on the phone. For a bit of history, he was one of, if not the first Chop Suey restaurant in the St. Louis metro area. Mid 1970's or so, in case you are keeping track. I doubt he invented the St. Paul but I didn't get to ask him. I think it would have been cool to know at the very least. In any case, I'm probably going to have one for him. I think they both deserved better than what they got. Or at least the way they went out. 

I seem to be saying that a lot. Rest easy you old goats. 

Hard to describe.

I think because it's spring. I just feel like I gotta move. Not in a dancing kind of way. I know I'm no good at that. My gut is just telling me that the way to get out of this funk is to get some miles between here and me.

Early March.

Lots of things going on. And one of the few weekends in the past few months that I actually get to relax. Or at least stay home for once. The new job is coming along pretty well. There are some kinks to be worked out to say the least but it's nothing impossible.
Comics are moving forward and yes, I will miss my aunt a lot. She was my favorite aunt as a child and I'm sure the 2nd adult to actually give me ice cream for breakfast. (The first being my grandmother) I wised up that time and got chocolate chip.
However, organization is never-ending and complex. No rest for the wicked, I guess. I'm just worse than most.

Good byes and good byes.

RIP Aunt Ginger. She passed around 5am this morning. Kind of ironic because her birthday was the 23rd. I also thought she visited me around 6 as I woke up for no reason. I'm glad she didn't suffer too long as being hooked up to machines and being paralyzed is no way to live. Her heart was always in the right place and I know she will be missed.

Nearly March.

It's only been a 2 weeks or so since I last wrote one of these but it feels so much longer. To make a long story short, I'm pretty emotionally beat. My aunt suffered another stroke last week and I went to see her. Now, they don't tell you exactly how difficult that is. Well, let me tell you that it is. When I saw her after her first stroke (which should have been a sign), she was okay. It is always hard to see someone you actually care about suffering. In movies, television, even friends it's not the same. She could at least still talk and had a lot of spunk left for someone in a hospital gown.
So, after this second one, ugh. It's not like you don't want to be there but you have to be strong for them. This time around, my aunt is completely paralyzed on her right side and partially so on her left. She can't talk and/or swallow and has plaque on her brain stem. I'm not even sure what the fuck that is. However, I don't think it should be there inside of my aunt. The decision has been made to take her into hospice care. Now that she can't really communicate, it's not fair to keep her going as a vegetable. The fine folks at U of IC medical center have already saved her a few times.
The extended family has been a bit hesitant to get their feet moving (*cough cough* Uncle W and cousin D). I am just hoping that she can get to see them again and say whatever wants to say to them. That's probably the thing that's on my mind the most now. There is more but I'll have to write about that later.

Good morning 2012

Writing? Maybe not so much. I feel like doing. Some crackpot hit my car yesterday evening too. So i had to silicon a side mirror on today. Now, my car wasnt worth that much before and this isnt helping.

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